Sweet Taboo Page 2

  “When?” I bounded to my feet, hoping I’d once again discover him outside my door.

  “I thought I’d go grab us some bagels from Panera. I know what you like. Then I’ll be right over…say ten minutes?” D was saying all the right things, but his voice was flat. I decided to chalk it up to being tired.

  “Sure. See you soon! I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. I’ll go get dressed.” I giggled, anticipating his response.

  “No. You leave that door locked. I’ll knock and wait for you,” he argued.

  “Okay.” I was mildly disappointed, but mostly because I expected him to say something about not getting dressed. I hoped he’d want a quickie since neither of us had time for a longie. Hit with a sense of foreboding that wouldn’t quit, I wandered into my closet to dress.

  Less than ten minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I had been sitting on the couch, sipping tea, waiting for it. Grinning, I set my mug on the counter and rushed to the door to greet him. I’d settled on yoga pants, knowing he loved the way they hugged my ass, and topped it with a long tight t-shirt.

  “Hey, babe,” D murmured when he entered my apartment. “You good?”

  I nodded happily as I watched his eyes skim over my appearance, then I turned on my heels and padded into the kitchen to find us some plates. As I did, I heard him groan.

  “Damn, baby.” He sighed.

  When I had plates in hand, and saw his face again, I knew I hadn’t been imagining things on the phone. “What’s wrong?” I asked as we sat at the table.

  D opened the bag and placed our respective bagels on our plates. He went with the everything bagel, while I enjoyed the cinnamon crunch bagel. He shook his head as he set it before me. “I don’t know how you eat that.”

  “Split, toasted, and buttered. Obviously.” I giggled and pulled the sections apart so I could begin enjoying it. “I had no idea how hungry I was until you suggested bagels,” I noted.

  “Yeah. I get that,” he mumbled as he ate and worked to avoid my eyes.

  I’d finished all of half my bagel in silence when I couldn’t maintain the façade any longer. “D, what’s going on? Talk to me,” I urged. When he still wouldn’t speak, I added, “You can tell me anything. You know this.”

  He set his bagel down, wiped his mouth with his hand, and muttered, “You think so?”

  “I know so,” I replied, cementing my assertion with a smile and a nod.

  “Let’s test that.” He shook his head and covered his eyes. I watched as he rubbed up and down his forehead.

  “Say something. You’re starting to scare me, D.” I suspected this would have him finally speaking to me. He hated seeing me worried or upset in any way.

  “I’m scared, too, Tegyn.” D could barely get the words out.

  I sat there silently, waiting for him to explain.

  Finally, he looked at me, met my eyes for the first time. “Camilla’s pregnant,” he whispered.

  I’m pretty sure I was hit in the chest with a wrecking ball. I could barely breathe as I struggled to process what he’d said. “I don’t get it. Is it yours? I thought you were separated? How far along is she?” All the questions running through my mind simply raced out my mouth in one giant whoosh.

  D pushed his chair back, pulled mine out, and fell to his knees in front of me. “Before we separated, we had make-up sex.” He stared up into my eyes and I could feel my heart breaking. “I didn’t know we were going to separate. I didn’t know she wasn’t on the pill. I didn’t think. You weren’t in my life yet.”

  I nodded numbly and curled my legs up in the chair with me. At first, I thought I’d stare off into the distance, afraid of what I’d read in his face, but then I realized I had to know. There was more to this. I could feel it. He wasn’t simply upset he had to tell me his wife was pregnant. I studied his whole demeanor, the way he had covered his face, the way he was withdrawing already. “So, you’ve decided to stay with her.” I made it a statement. He’d have to work to change my mind.

  “Babe, I didn’t have a father. I can’t do that to my kid, even if I don’t love its mama,” he struggled to explain.

  “There are ways to be a father without being with the mother. Happens all the time,” I grumbled, even though I hated myself for suggesting it. He should feel free to end his marriage when he was ready. For me to insinuate otherwise made me feel incredibly selfish. Shaking my head, I stood. “Okay, well, thank you for the bagel. I wish you a nice life.” I nodded a few times, like a damn bobble head doll.

  D stood slowly. “That’s it?”

  I threw my hands in the air. “What else can there be? I’m not going to be the other woman. I deserve to be loved, cherished, and protected. You knew from the start I was the marrying kind.”

  He backed away, his head down. “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to let you go.”

  “Well, that’s not entirely your choice,” I reminded him. Then I strode over to the door and opened it wide. “Bye, DeSean.” I stood stiffly, waiting for him to pass through so I could close it and have the breakdown I deserved.

  “Okay. We’ll talk later,” he mumbled.

  I ignored that comment. Once he’d stepped through the door, he turned to stare at me. I eyed him for a split second before I shut the door, locked it, and leaned against it. I glanced at the clock on the microwave. On second thought, I didn’t have time to have a breakdown. I needed to get ready to leave.

  Mere minutes before turning down the main road to the neighborhood, I called Annie. Amazingly enough, she answered on the first ring. “Mind if I come now?” I asked.

  “Your timing is perfect!” Annie exclaimed. “They’re busy on the roof.”

  In the past, I might have wondered what Trent was doing on the roof. Hell, I would have worried over him being on the roof. Now, I just hoped he stayed up there long enough for me to make it in and out of the house with my Thin Mints.

  “Great,” I responded. “Be there in a few.”

  Sure enough, I was pulling up to the house moments later. Only, as I did, Trent walked right over to the driver’s side. What happened to the freaking roof? With a sigh, I exited the vehicle. This was going to suck. Silently, I tried to slip by him. That part went smoothly enough, but soon I discovered he was following me to the front door.

  “What?” I asked, as patiently as I could muster.

  Standing there glowering at me, he just shook his head. “Nothing,” he muttered.

  With a shrug, I said, “Good. Then go away.” Then I turned back to the door and began to knock on it, hoping Annie was right there on the other side, ready to rescue me.

  Sure enough, the door opened and she passed me my boxes. Trent just stood there on porch, doing his best to glare me down. “Thank you, Annie!” I smiled with feigned happiness. At the moment, my stomach was churning, my heart was racing, and my hand...shaking. Turning away, I strode back to the vehicle.

  As soon as I opened the door, I threw the boxes in the back seat. I was going to get in the SUV, but he was leaning against the driver’s door. “What do you want?” My frustration was mounting. I just wanted to collect my cookies and go back to my apartment to eat them, since I no longer had D to calm me down.

  “I hate you,” he muttered, spewing as much venom as he could in those three short words.

  Exhaling, I understood. Everything was suddenly clear to me. Shaking my head, I responded. “No, you don’t. You love me. You’re just mad because you realized that I’ve been seeing someone else.” My smile this time was real. It felt really good to see that he was jealous.

  “How?” That was all he could manage to say. Words were never his friend.

  Gently, I responded. “How what? How could I date someone else? How could I get over you? Is this what you’re asking?”

  The hard look on his face softened considerably. He managed a small nod. “I love you,” he muttered, his tune suddenly changing. “How could you be with someone else?”

  Looking at h
im, measuring his mood, I made a suggestion. “Can we go talk in your garage?” Experience had taught me that even though we couldn’t see anyone watching, we were probably the talk of the neighborhood at the moment.

  Grabbing my hand, he all but dragged me across the street. Once inside the garage, he hauled me into his arms, buried his face in my neck, and latched his hands around me so that I couldn’t even back away. “I love you, Tegyn, only you. I want it to be only me and you forever,” he began.

  Somehow, I stayed strong. Shaking my head, I murmured sadly, “We can’t do this. We tried. We don’t want the same things.”

  He released me just enough so that we could look each other in the eye while we talked. “Yes, we do. How can you say that?”

  My eyebrow arched instantly. “I want to be loved and cherished. I want marriage and children. I want to grow old with someone.” I sighed. “You will never offer me that kind of security. And I’ve finally discovered there are guys that just might give me that. I can’t keep coming back to you only to be hurt and disappointed again.”

  His arms loosened and I started to step back just as he suddenly dropped to one knee before me. When I looked down, I realized he was holding out a ring. “Marry me, Tegyn. Be with me and only me forever.”

  Now that he had asked, I still couldn’t answer. Instead, there were so many questions in my mind. “How? Where…?”

  “Today. When I heard you were coming over, I decided to take a chance. It is Valentine’s Day…” He drew me close and kissed me. In that action and from those lips, I felt how much he loved and missed me. “So, what do you say?”

  What could I say? I had loved this man almost as long as I had known him. I loved him more than was safe or sane or sensible. When we dated, he had my whole heart. That was why, as much as I liked D, when coupled with his divorce not being final, I had feared giving myself over with complete abandon. “Yes,” I murmured against his lips. “Always yes.”

  Between us, in my front jeans pocket, my phone began to ring. Pulling back, I peeked at it. Naturally, it was D. Obviously, he didn’t want it to be over between us. At the same time, given our last conversation, we had no future. I frowned.

  “Do you need to answer that?” Trent asked, with a confidence that suggested he was finally certain he had secured me in his life for good.

  Shaking my head, feeling slightly saddened and more than a little guilty, I said quietly, “No, not anymore.”

  3

  Now

  * * *

  DeSean

  * * *

  The headline in the lifestyle section of the newspaper caught my eye. There she was again. Tegyn was making a name for herself, completely slaying life. “Git it, gurl.” I grinned and leaned back in my seat while I read the article. When I was finished absorbing every word written about her in the interview, I got all caught up in staring at her picture. She looked the same, as if she hadn’t aged a day. Her hair was redder than I remembered, but that was probably because she was trying to hide some of those white hairs I’d noticed back in the day. Damn, what I wouldn’t give to see her, to run my fingers through those shoulder length waves. I set the paper down and found Camilla glaring at me. “What you want?” I asked, the irritation obvious in my voice. “And I thought we agreed you’d start knocking. You live downstairs, remember?” Then I frowned. “Why you up here?”

  Camilla smirked. “You don’t need to worry ‘bout that. I’m here about my boy.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “We need to talk.”

  I rolled my eyes. She was known for fabricating excuses for us to talk. “What now? Does he have diaper rash? Use the butt paste I bought. It’ll heal. You want to talk preschool again? He’s already registered to start the fall after he turns three.” I sat up and folded my hands on the desk seriously. “You think you ain’t getting enough money? What more money you need? I buy all his clothes. I provide food for both of you. You pay for nothing here so you can get on your feet and move out.” I stared down at my laced fingers while I grumbled, “I don’t know what’s taking so long. You went back to work a year and a half ago.”

  “That’s all you think about, huh? You just want me gone.” Her voice became an angry growl.

  “I wouldn’t mind. And I sure as hell wouldn’t miss you.” I leaned back and offered a bored look. I’d seen this Camilla many times. Her dramatics never worked. We weren’t ever gonna work. Living together was making both of us miserable. We were frozen in a bad place, unable to move on with our separate lives. We made an agreement long ago that I’d never bring another woman to the house as long as she lived here. She’d agreed there’d be no other men because this was my motherfucking house. If I couldn’t have Tegyn, I wanted no one, which was why I was mostly miserable. Camilla was evil, which was why we couldn’t even co-parent together.

  She stalked over to the desk, laid her hands down on the polished wood surface, an act she knew would annoy me, then leaned over and glared at me. “I want to talk about going for full custody of our son.”

  “You’re gonna give him to me? That’s great. Thanks, Camilla.” I grinned, knowing full well that wasn’t what she meant. Holding him over my head was the one way she ensured I didn’t kick her ugly ass out. Threatening to keep him from me was her one Ace and she played it hard and regular.

  “You know that’s not what I meant.” She scowled. “I want full custody.”

  “No,” I replied succinctly. “Never.”

  She opened her mouth and I expected it to shoot venom, but I didn’t have time for that at the moment. I was waiting on an important call from a new client, a local NFL player. This could be big for my business. I had plenty of room to grow, since my team had expanded.

  Rather than wait for her to say one word, I stopped her by standing and crossing my arms over my chest. “Listen, I don’t have time for this. I’m sorry we ever married. I’m sorry we had a child together. If I could pick him a different mama, believe me I would.” Her eyes narrowed. “Still, I’m never giving my son up. Keyon will never have to worry about where his father’s at. Got it? Just stick to the damn agreement and we all good.”

  I mighta said more, but my phone started ringing. We both glanced at the screen; I’m sure she expected it to be some woman, but it never was unless there was a job. And even then, I passed the female clients off on my female guards.

  “I gotta take this. It’s a job.” Then I lifted the phone, slid my finger across the screen and gave her the eyes. You know…the get the fuck outta here ones.

  “Fine. We ain’t done yet,” she hissed as she exited.

  I sighed. “We never are.” When she closed the door behind her, I spoke. “Mr. Gentry,” I began calmly, “right on time.”

  “First, please call me Paxton or Pax. Mr. Gentry is my father and I’ll never get used to that.”

  “Whatever you’d like, Pax.” Hell, if I could shorten a few syllables, I was all for it. Plus, I liked to make sure we had a level of trust and familiarity for the job to run smoothly. “Ready to run through the particulars?”

  “Yes, I am,” he responded. “I think we may be postponing the shoot for a few weeks. The director is sick and I hear they haven’t finalized the copy on the script, so we don’t have to go running off to L.A.”

  I nodded. “That works for me. Be sure to let me know when you get a date so we can organize this.”

  “I don’t normally feel the need for security,” Paxton muttered. “It’s just that the climate has been different for NFL players lately.”

  I knew what he meant. People loved them or hated them ever since the kneeling controversy. “I understand.”

  “So, they promised to give me at least a week notice. Will that work?” He sighed and I could hear a heaviness in his voice that wasn’t there the last time we spoke.

  “Yeah. I’m fine,” he grumbled.

  I licked my lips and considered whether or not to pry, but it might be relevant to my job. “Fine is not good. If something is botheri
ng you, let me know. This all impacts my ability to protect you.”

  He was silent for several seconds. “Nothing worth mentioning yet,” he mumbled. “I promise if something changes, I’ll let you. About everything. I gotta go for now.”

  “Nice talking to you. I look forward to our next call.” I tried to keep it professional, but half the time it felt like dating. I had to dig into people’s lives, get to know them on a level they usually reserved for their inner circle. Instead, I was just this guy who was silently watching their backs.

  The call ended and I sank back down into the chair. I had to leave for the club in a few hours. I had to get there early. There was a bikini contest taking place during happy hour in an effort to lure in more guys. I needed to be outside the dressing room while the ladies dressed. Not only was I responsible for keeping drunk guys out, I was in charge of making sure the weaves didn’t fly. Sistahs could get pretty intense during a competition.

  So, I stretched and decided to grab some food on the way out of the house. Downstairs, I could hear Camilla talking loudly on the phone, right near the foot of the stairs.

  “Oh, baby, you so funny.” She squealed with laughter. Then she glanced up the stairs to see if I was watching.

  I waggled my fingers at her to show I wasn’t jealous in the least, then I made a beeline for the fridge. After opening the door and examining the contents, I realized there was nothing good in there. Looks like I’d hit a drive thru on the way.

  I’d barely made it to the truck when my phone rang. When I peaked at the screen, I coulda thrown the phone. “What, Camilla?” I growled. “I ain’t even made it out the driveway yet. What you want?”

  “I was just wondering how late you were working tonight,” she murmured coyly.

  In moments like this, I found it hard to believe I’d ever been attracted to this woman. “Same as always. When the bar closes, I come home. I don’t date. I don’t do nothing but eat, sleep, breathe, and work.”